Choosing bridesmaids for your special day is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable experience. Unfortunately this is not always the case, as brides often worry about who they’re leaving out and how they will take it. Whether they are lifelong friends, college friends, family, or in-laws (or even your family dog!), they will play an important role in your big day, so you’ll have to think carefully before choosing them. With this in mind, I’ve outlined some advice to help you chose your bridesmaids for that special day.
Some brides fall into the trap of thinking you must have even numbers of bridesmaids on your wedding day. To ensure not to land on an odd number, brides often end up cutting an intended bridesmaid from the bridal party, or choosing an extra one who’s not as close to her as the other bridesmaids. Both of these can have detrimental effects on friendships, and here’s how. If you cut your best friend or a very close friend, you could seriously offend her and be left with the type of animosity that could spill over into your big day, and will certainly hang around long after it has been and gone. If on the other hand, you choose to include a friend who’s not as close to you as your other bridesmaids just to make an even number, you could end up offending other friends who will feel they had as much right to be chosen as her, not to mention causing a stir among the other bridesmaids. It’s also advisable not to have too many bridesmaids if avoidable. The more bridesmaids you have, the more problems you are potentially creating. Have you ever tried to, for example, to organise dress fittings around 10 girls with busy schedules?
Some brides feel they have to return the favour. Let’s be clear, you don’t have to choose someone as a bridesmaid just because you were their bridesmaid. If you haven’t seen or spoken to an old friend in years, it would be strange to ask them to be bridesmaid just because you were theirs. Don’t let money hold you back either when making these choices. We all know weddings are expensive, but not everything has to be out of your price range. Money can be saved on dresses, and I don’t mean by reducing the number of bridesmaids you had planned! It’s totally understandable when budgeting for the big day you realise you only have enough for one bridesmaid. Speak with those you had intended on using and explain the situation with finances. In some cases, they may even offer to pay for their own bridesmaids dress.
You must be 100% sure of who you want as your bridesmaids before you start telling them. Once you ask someone you can’t change your mind, those invitations can’t be taken back. If you ask them 2 years before your wedding and in the meantime you become closer to another friend, you can’t try to switch bridesmaids. Some advice would be to give yourself a week between deciding who your bridesmaids are and actually telling them, this way if you do start to change your mind you don’t offend anyone. A bridesmaid doesn’t have to be a woman. It’s not unusual for a girl to have a male best friend. A man could be a bride’s man, and could wear colours such as his tie or waistcoat, to match that of the other bridesmaids.