The perfect relationship doesn’t exist, it’s impossible to spend so much time with someone without falling out with each other. Even the happiest couples, the most loving, caring couples, have arguments. This makes ‘making up’ a crucial part of relationships. Arguing is an entirely necessary part of your relationship. It’s necessary as a form of ‘clearing’, which means clearing out the old and preparing for the new. Making up is a key part of this process. To put it bluntly, if you don’t make up, you break up.
Before making up, you first need to clear things in your own mind. It’s important to realise each of your points of view and why you feel that way. If you were in the wrong, you need to hold your hands up and admit you were wrong; otherwise you will leave ill feeling. So once you’ve satisfied yourself with this point, you need to get creative. How you will make up and how big an effort you will make should really depend on how big the argument was. Remember, making up is a lot more than just material possessions, in fact it doesn’t require material possessions at all. Sincerity, careful thought and planning could be all that’s required for this. Make up with your heart, not with your wallet.
When making up you must acknowledge the reasons for the argument. Very often the actual argument is about something below the surface that’s not actually what’s being argued about. Making up relies on you both resolving this problem. Much has been made about the virtues of ‘make-up sex’. This can be all well and good, but don’t overly rely on it as a make up tool.
If need be, make up in style. There’s no rule book that says you can’t spoil your partner every once in a while. You could take them out for a romantic meal, book a weekend away or even buy them something really special to show you care and want things to be better between you. It must be stated however, that doing this is not a substitute for resolving the issue. Time dedicated to resolving issues is worth a lot more than money spend covering them up. Why not spend an afternoon with a cup of coffee discussing each other’s issues? It’s important to let each of you say your piece. If your partner is whining and rambling on, let them, and sincerely listen, don’t just nod your head. At the end of the day, you may say what you have done as no big issue, but what really matters is how it makes your partner feel. So listen hard, ask questions, and get to the real root of the problem. When the root cause is identified, find out why this causes such feelings. Then when you find it, discuss how this can be overcome, what each of you can do to prevent such feelings. Then set boundaries as to what future behaviour should be. This is the most crucial part of making sure you stay ‘made up’, and enjoy a long and happy relationship.